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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Lawyers are for sucks

I think I just figured out the secret to lawyers.

I'm pretty sure the bar exam is not about court cases, regulations, or laws. It's about Shakespearean writing and how well you can read olde English. Because if you're the best at it, you can confuse all of the other idiots around you. And that means making a lot of money. I was recently sent a Warranty Deed from my relocation company:

To have and to hold the said tract of parcel of land, with all and singular the rights, members and appurtenances thereof, to the same being, belonging, or in anywise appertaining, to the only proper use, benefit and behoove of the said Grantee forever in fee simple.

Now, I'm supposed to sign my name below this--as if I actually comprehended more than 3 words. As far as I know, I may be signing off on donating my kidney to the local science museum. Or perhaps I'm unknowingly enslaving myself to work at Affordable Dentures for the rest of my life. Good thing I'm one of the many idiots, or else I might actually be worried.


Sunny said...

If you were working at Affordable Dentures, I would stand in that line at 7am every morning.

Anonymous said...

"baxter, you know i don't speech spanish." i may have to protest your blog for the lawyer post. signed red-headed lawdawg in st. paul.