Party Central

Last night The General had its holiday party in downtown Atlanta at the Hilton. Tonight is obviously New Year's Eve, and in about 15 minutes we are leaving for the Downtown Countdown. One of my favorite things about holiday parties? Women wearing dresses.

New layout

So I decided to make some changes. I wasn't that happy with the old layout. I actually picked it because it was my 2nd favorite -- my first choice was this one, but this was also what Brad was using at the time, and I couldn't copy him that much.

But now that he's moved on, I figure I can too (and copy Brad even more).

And while I was at it, I decided to create my very own Flickr account so I can share more photos with all of you (my friends, family, and complete random strangers).

Christmas Cheer

Me and my brother, showing a literal example of Christmas Cheer (thanks Mom and Dad). This picture also brings to mind SNL's Spartan Cheerleaders and their "Perfect Cheer":

My name is Craig
I give good hugs
You're not my friend
If you do drugs

Is Elvis in the building?

So I didn't quite make it to Iowa tonight. Not even close in fact. I'm sitting in my Holiday Inn hotel room in Memphis, Tennessee, loving the free wireless internet.

My connection flight to Memphis became a stay-over once NWA realized they oversold the plane by a whopping 7 people. They were looking for volunteers to give up their seats, and no one was budging. One woman was crying at the front desk, saying she had to get home tonight because her father had just passed. You could tell that she was genuinely upset and not just making up some story. I told the agent working the counter that I would give up my seat only if it went to her. It will probably be the best Christmas present I give this year.

But the story doesn't stop there...

The world is a small place. Iowa is even smaller. So naturally, when the 7 of us were taking the shuttle from the airport to the hotel, I found out that a couple was from Livermore, IA -- just down the road from Thor. We even talked about the ever-popular (and only place to dine) Unkies Restaurant in Thor. Small world.

But the story still doesn't stop there...

I went to the hotel restaurant and sat at the bar next to one of the seven that was bumped. We got to talking and figured out that his daughter not only went to ISU and lives in Minneapolis, but she is good friends with my friend Sara T from work. Really small world.

Merry Christmas

In the words of Addie, "Happy Christmahanukwanzaka to you and your family!"

And with that, I'm off to Iowa for a white Christmas...

Laughing Skull Santa

Even The Vortex is spreading the Christmas spirit.

Georgia + Patches of Ice = Mayhem

This morning's commute was definitely the most entertaining drive into work yet. It had been raining last night, and the temperature got low enough so most trees had a little ice on them, as well as a few patches of ice here and there along the roads. In the Midwest, it would have been considered a beautiful morning with near-perfect driving conditions. Not Georgia.

Schools were canceled. Accidents everywhere. Diana and I got to within one mile of our exit on I-20 and hit a dead stand-still. Both sides of the interstate were completely stopped. Lots of people had got out of their cars to walk around and see what the big hold-up was. This was 7:30 in the morning, and we spotted a guy from our plant standing on the other side of the interstate that had gotten off the night shift at 5AM.

About 30 minutes later we finally make it that last mile only to find our exit completely backed up. We were shocked to find a car on the right-hand shoulder on fire. Flames were coming from underneath the hood, and a billowing cloud of smoke was getting bigger and bigger as the fire grew. We couldn't believe it. We fortunately maneuvered around it and got out of there before any explosions happened. Where was my camera when I needed it?

The Mono Evolution

• Mono is short for mononucleosis.
• My mom always warned me that if I didn't get my rest I'd come down with mono.
• I got mono in high school.
• One of our senior party slogans was, "Come to our senior party and get mono."
• Sedges calls me "Mo P"
• Devo took that and changed it to "Mono P"
• Now people in Georgia simply call me "Mono".
• I've even camped in Mono Meadow.

Do the Bus a Bus

So IT is not necessarily the hippest of departments. We speak in bytes, gigahertz, assemblies, if statements, and raid arrays. But I have to give credit to my manager tonight. We had visitors from corporate down at the plant today, and my manager wanted to take them out for a fun dinner.

We were chauffeured to Atlanta in the bachelor-party-like Fur Bus to eat at a chic restaurant, Two Urban Licks. Now, I don't know about you, but if I were playing a word association game and came across "Fur Bus" and "Two Urban Licks", I'm fairly confident "Corporate America" would never pop into my head. But hey, that's ATL style for ya.

Make sure to check out the inside of the Fur Bus...

This is What Geniuses Do

This photo makes me want to start a Flickr account, which I think I will do once I find a free moment. If it were posted to Flickr, I could highlight the picture on the wall hanging to the left of my head, and point out that it is the same bread and milk picture that used to hang in Grandma's house. It's definitely my favorite piece of home away from home, and if there were a fire I think I would grab it on my way out the door.

And I almost forgot...being the genius that I am, I should probably explain the title for the laymen out there. Fortunately, it can be proven using basic algebra:

The facts:
The photograph above is a sample of what a person living alone does to entertain him/herself.
I live alone.
The majority of Americans do NOT live alone.
The majority of Americans are NOT geniuses.

Live alone = The minority
Me = Live alone
Genius = The minority
Me = Genius

Need I say anymore?

Martha Stewart, Eat Your Heart Out

Lauren and I were full into the Christmas spirit today when we made a gingerbread house. It's important every now and then to stop and consider the important things in life...like, should we use sweet tarts or gum drops for the sidewalk?

Everything I know I learned in Kindergarten

No, really, I mean it.

Tonight we went to Raging Burrito in Decatur to play trivia, eat burritos, and drink some Tecate. The only question I answered correctly the entire night was, "Chocolate, graham crackers, and what other ingredient make up 'smores'?"

Apparently my brain doesn't have the capacity to retain any facts, dates, or cartoon vehicle names.

------------------

And a a side note, now playing: The Southland, "Influence of Geography"...so far so good.

I Graduated from Jowa State University?

I should probably explain my Perfection post...

I was about to graduate from college and I had a mop of shaggy hair covering my head. I was planning on cutting it short, and knowing this, one of my roommates (WCB) convinced me to let him sculpt it into a mullet first. I acquiesced, and let him work his magic.

I had never been more self-conscience in all my life.

I went to a movie with a friend, and during the previews some guy from a few rows in front of us literally got up out of his chair and came over to me and said, "Dude, I just had to come over here and shake your hand. That's one killer mullet."

Perfection

Call me MacGyver

I decided to follow in my dad's footsteps this year and purchase a real Christmas tree. Being cheap and having a small car with no roof rack led me to buy a tree small enough for my wallet as well as my trunk (or in native Volkswagen terminology, the boot).

My Dad gave me a few tips, which I followed:

1. Cut the last inch off of the tree
2. Put the tree in warm water first, in order to open up the tree's pores so it will more readily drink up water

Not having a real saw, I broke out my Leatherman SuperTool and started sawing away using the handy little blade. It surprisingly worked like a charm; the SuperTool lived up to it's name.

Then, to continue my MacGyverness, I washed out an old shampoo bottle and cut off one end of it. Then, I cut some more holes in it so I could weave a twist-tie through it and around one of the tree branches. The result? A handy little tree-watering funnel.

And for some reason, I now have an urge to break out of a jail cell using a battery, a couple paper clips, a rubber band, and a belt buckle...and I have an overwhelming desire to cut my hair into a mullet...(again)....

Chateau Elan

Lauren's company's Christmas party was held this past Saturday at Chateau Elan, a quaint winery and resort about 40 miles north of Atlanta. The visit started off with what would turn out to be the best part -- a trip to the spa for a back and shoulder massage. It was my first time at a spa, and I absolutely loved it.

The men's room was decked out with a leather couch and big screen tv, steam room, sauna, and some sweet showers. The massage was excellent, and I couldn't believe it when my 30 minutes was already up. At this point, all I wanted was a nap, but dinner called.

Lauren's company is small, and the dynamic is definitely strange to say the least. I feel like NBC's "The Office" (which I love by the way) could film her company next season if they wanted to do a reality-tv version. I've never seen so many adults drink and yell so much while playing a basic dice game, Left Center Right. The one bonus from the party was that I walked away with an extra $40 in my pocket after a Texas-holdem game. God bless those marketing researchers.

Another hard day at work

Could you ask for a better Friday "at work": sleeping in, Whirlyball, barbecue, an open bar, and ramming your fellow coworker with a bumper car? Our Quality organization had their team offsite yesterday, and invited me to join them. Who was I to say no?

The highlight of the day, in my humble opinion, was the very first game. With the score tied, the clock was ticking down. I started yelling out the seconds to alert my team, "seven, six, five..." David saw me in the lane, and passed me the ball with one second on the clock. Just as the buzzer was sounding, in one continuous motion, I caught the ball and threw it at the goal. Score!!! Literally, a last second shot. I was so fired up as I left the court. Then I remembered we were playing Whirlyball. Then I went to the bar and got myself a beer.

I just couldn't resist

I felt my last post was missing a little something, so I thought I would throw in the visual element of comparing two of the world's greatest people who's name started with an "A":



And while searching for these above pictures, I happened to stumble across quite a lucky find. This truly is unbelievable: a cross stitch kit of Axel Rose. A perfect Christmas present just waiting for Grandma...

Aristotle and Axel Rose both had it right

Aristotle taught that patience is a virtue. Guns 'N Roses sang:

It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience

And that's exactly what I needed...The gas company returned to my door this evening at 7:30 and hooked me up. Who knew Axel Rose was such a scholar?

I didn't know this could happen

So the gas company came to my place today, and I walked the service technician out to the side of the building where the meters are located. When looking for the meter that was linked up to my specific condo, we were both surprised to find the entire thing gone. I didn't know this could happen, and of course, he wasn't expecting it either.

I was told that someone else would be out later with everything needed to get me all setup. That was 11AM. It's now past 6PM, and I think I'm out of luck. Oh joy.